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Men’s Conference draws record crowd, urges participants to ‘Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Christ’
- Gene Fadness
- 7 minutes ago
- 16 min read
By Deacon Gene Fadness
For the Idaho Catholic Register
MERIDIAN—It’s said that speakers like those at the Jan. 31 Idaho Catholic Men’s Conference don’t have a conference call or group chat to synchronize messages in advance. They know the theme—this one, “Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Christ” — but that is the extent of the collusion. However, to hear the messages of Bishop Peter Christensen, Bishop Joseph Coffey, Father Chris Alar and Justin Fatica, one might find it hard to believe there was no coordination, making it more likely to trust the obvious: the Holy Spirit is the One doing the spiritual legwork.
Those doing the physical legwork, chief organizers Johnny Horn and Travis Wingo, the staff at Salt & Light Radio, including Keith Pettyjohn and Carol Brown, all know that their hard work, buttressed by divine intervention, is what makes this conference, among the largest in the Northwest, so successful.
It’s been a dozen years since Horn and Wingo attended a men’s conference in Pendleton, Ore., and wondered, why can’t Boise do the same? Now it does: religiously held on the only weekend early in the year that doesn’t include a bowl game, an NFL playoff game or the Super Bowl.
This year’s conference was the 11th annual, coinciding with the number of years Bishop Peter Christensen has served the Diocese of Boise. He has spoken at every conference, opening this year, as always, with Mass.
As the conference has grown, it has expanded to include “watch parties,” for men who couldn’t attend at Holy Apostles Catholic Church in Meridian. Watch parties this year included, but were not limited to, Challis, Grangeville, Lewiston, Moscow, Pocatello, Rupert, Salmon, Sun Valley and Boise. This year’s registration at nearly 1,100 was the largest to date, with tickets selling out more quickly than ever before, according to Wingo.
The men heard several examples of what it is like to be encouragers and examples to others: Jesus to his disciples, particularly Peter; St. Paul to the Church at Corinth; St. Francis de Sales to St. John Bosco and to Bishop Peter Christensen; Sister Winifred to Bishop Joseph Coffey; Father Larry Richards to Justin Fatica; and St. Faustina to Father Chris Alar.
The day began with Mass and a message from Bishop Peter Christensen urging the men not to dwell on their past and to look forward in faith. Bishop Coffey, auxiliary bishop to the Archdiocese of Military Services, spoke of the call to vocation, be it his own priesthood or, for others, marriage and family. Father Alar spoke of responding to one’s call by developing a deeper sacramental life, particularly in the Mass and with devotion to Divine Mercy. Justin Fatica, a fiery, lay Catholic “preacher,” told the men how, once converted, they can change the lives of others via “unreasonable encouragement.”
“Our Christianity is an interesting journey to say the least,” Bishop Peter said. “Looking back at my life, I had no idea that I would be called to do what I do today.”
He didn’t get to where he is by dwelling on his past, he said. One of the biggest obstacles to growth is a “tendency to look back on our past, including sins and failures.” By looking back on past failures, “we get paralyzed from moving forward, doubting ourselves and weakening any semblance for self-worth.” It’s important to learn from mistakes, but not to dwell on them, the Bishop said. Doing so, “makes us fear from doing what is being asked of us, fearing we will not be prepared for what’s coming.”
The Bishop quoted the writer to the Hebrews who told the believers to “rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us, while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.”
The gospel story of Peter’s attempt to walk on the water is a good illustration of what happens when we take our eyes off Jesus, the Bishop said. Peter walks on water, briefly, “but he broke his focus, his eyes were off Jesus.” When Peter cries out, “Lord save me,” the scripture says Jesus immediately stretched out his hands to save him. “I like that it says immediately,” the Bishop said. Perhaps more interesting, he noted, is that Peter’s doubt is used to strengthen all the disciples’ faith.” Jesus confirms his love to Peter and others, he said, “offering ongoing healing to their weak faith.” Jesus encouraged Peter and the others to “not dwell on their past, nor should we dwell on ours.” However, their mistakes were not wasted because they helped them to know God’s love and mercy toward them, he said.
An avid sailor, the Bishop provided an illustration in moving forward by explaining the role of a “coxswain,” or the forward-facing leader of a rowing crew. All other crew members face backward, while the coxswain directs the crew whose members are looking to him for direction.
“The cockswain steers the boat and keeps his eyes on the goal, and the crew keeps their focus on him,” the Bishop said. The crew members can see how far they’ve come, but they are not to dwell on the finish line by looking over their shoulders. “Like each of us, they don’t see the full picture of where everything is going. It is a journey of trust; trust in Jesus who is directing because He sees the beginning, the end and the everything in-between of our lives.” To follow Jesus as our leader is an act of faithfulness and obedience, he said. “Rowers don’t stop to ask, ‘Why?’ every time directions are given. Trust means obeying, even when we don’t understand.”
The Bishop quoted his patron saint, St. Francis de Sales who wrote, “You shall steer safely through every storm as long as our heart is right, our intention fervent, our courage steadfast and our trust is fixed on the Lord.”
The day of the conference was the feast day of St. John Bosco, who learned the spirituality of St. Francis de Sales and named the order St. John Bosco founded — the Salesians — after St. Francis. St. John Bosco likely did not see the fruit he would produce in his life, Bishop Peter said, but because he trusted in the Lord, he was able to do great things. He cared for neglected boys in his home city of Turin, Italy, beginning with six in his home, but eventually growing to 600. St. John Bosco taught them to read and took them to Mass, promoting devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. When he died at age 77 in 1888, there were 768 members of his religious community and today the Salesians are a worldwide congregation devoted to the religious education of youth. A relic of St. John Bosco was made available at the conference.
Bishop Joseph Coffey is one of five auxiliary bishops for the Archdiocese for Military Services, with a primary responsibility to visit priest-chaplains at 150 Veterans Administration hospitals, which he did while in Boise.
As a young man, Bishop Coffey was a member of the crew team at LaSalle University in his hometown of Philadelphia. After graduating from LaSalle, he taught in Catholic school, where a nun, Sister Winifred, told him he was going to become a priest, and directed all the young women “to keep their hands off” him. Coffey didn’t take Sister Winifred too seriously. Struck by a wanderlust, he taught fifth-graders for just one year and then left to become a ski instructor in Switzerland. Later he was in Germany where “I sold Japanese cars to American soldiers in Germany.”
Adventuresome as they were, those experiences didn’t provide any answers about his future. In 1988, while living in Belgium, Bishop Coffey said he started praying about his future, praying every night for six months. He came across a newspaper story that said 500 pro-life people, including his own sister, were arrested in Cherry Hill, N.J., just across the river from his boyhood home. “Something’s going on in America, and I want to be part of it,” the Bishop told himself. Ten days later, he was arrested in Delaware at a pro-life rescue. “I could make one phone call, and it was to my mother. It was her birthday.” Then, on Good Friday of 1989, Coffey, his mother and seven of her kids were arrested. “We were pro-life crazy people, but always peaceful, always non-violent.”
He attended a pro-life retreat at Malvern Retreat House in Philadelphia. While praying before a painting of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, his call to the priesthood became clear. “That was 35 years ago, and I’ve never looked back.” His ordination came 14 years after Sister Winifred’s prophecy. She attended his first Mass.
Bishop Coffey said he planned to become a parish priest in Philadelphia until a military chaplain told him about the opportunity to serve God and country in the military. He received permission from his bishop, Anthony Bevilacqua, now a Cardinal, to train in San Diego as a reservist while still in seminary. Ordained in 1996, he taught in Philadelphia schools for five years, waiting for a release from his Bishop to go on active duty. He wrote the bishop, but didn’t hear anything for three months.
“I prayed before the Blessed Sacrament, and the next day a letter came allowing me to go on active duty,” he said.
Military chaplains endure the same rigors of training as anyone in the Marines, the branch he chose.
“Everything they did, I did. When they went on a long hump in the pouring rain, I was with them,” Bishop Coffey explained.
One day, while participating in a gas mask drill with Navy chaplains at Camp Johnson, N.C., word got out of an attack on the Twin Towers in New York City on Sept. 11, 2001. “I will never forget seeing on TV those towers coming down. I felt sick to my stomach and true fear,” he said. “I knew we were at war, and chaplains have died on the battlefield.”
He served on an aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf, the only priest for 5,000 sailors.
“I would visit other ships in our strike group by helicopter. I loved being a chaplain on an aircraft carrier.”
He spent some time at a Coast Guard boot camp in New Jersey, talking recruits out of going home. He was later assigned to a Marine Air Group in Pendleton, Calif., his squadron later going to Afghanistan for seven months. “That was pretty scary. I worried about getting shot by a sniper or blown up by an IED.”
That fear, however, did not stop him from showing up with his small Mass kit anywhere where Marines needed him.
Back home, he became a military recruiter of a different sort: persuading bishops and religious order superiors to give their priests and brothers an opportunity to serve as chaplains.
His final assignment, after 19 years of duty, was at a Marine boot camp in San Diego. After one more year in the military, he looked forward to returning home and becoming a parish priest. Those plans abruptly changed when he got a call from Christophe Pierre, papal nuncio to the United States, asking Coffey to become an Auxiliary Bishop for the Archdiocese for Military Services.
“’Do you accept?” the papal nuncio wanted to know now. Bishop Coffey said a quick prayer and, while praying, thought of St. Francis de Sales, who said, “Seek nothing, refuse nothing.”
“That gave me peace, so I accepted. I’m glad I said yes.” He was ordained bishop on March 25, 2019.
Not all men are called to priesthood, but, as important, are the majority who are called to be fathers and husbands.
“Every man I know suffers from temptation,” he said. To fight it, he encouraged the men to develop the chief cardinal virtue of prudence; the others being justice, fortitude and temperance.
“Cardinal means ‘hinge’ because all other virtues hinge on these. Prudence is the strongest because it helps us distinguish right and wrong,” Bishop Coffey urged.
“We hear a lot of confessions, and the thing they struggle with most is pornography,” he said. Pornography is ubiquitous when compared to the days when it was accessible only at movie theatres and in sealed bags with brown paper wrapping, he said. “Now with cell phones, a little kid can see more hard-core porn in five minutes than anyone could ever see years ago.”
He encouraged the men to seek the aid of St. Joseph, attend Mass and Reconciliation frequently and pray the rosary. “Finally, don’t give up on kids who have stopped going to Church. Be strong and be faithful.”
Father Chris Alar, MIC, is the Provincial Superior for the Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception, responsible for all the Order’s priests in the United States, England and Argentina. He is based at the National Shrine of Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, Mass. The Order is best known for promoting the message of Divine Mercy as revealed in apparitions of Jesus to Sister Faustina Kowalska in Poland beginning in 1931.
Father Alar appears regularly on the Eternal World Television Network with his programs, “Explaining Divine Mercy,” and “Living the Faith.” He spent much of his time explaining the celebration of the Mass and how it pertains to Divine Mercy.
Divine Mercy, Father Alar said, is the “heart of the gospel,” tracing its beginnings back to the book of Genesis where God, after the fall, promises Adam and Eve the gift of a mother and the promise of a savior. (Gen. 3:15)
“It’s the culmination of salvation,” he said. “After the fall, God could have crushed us out of existence, but he didn’t. He gave us the first message of divine mercy in the garden.”
“One word gets us to heaven and that is grace,” Father Alar reminded. “If we don’t have God’s grace, we’re not going to make it.” Grace comes when, realizing we are sinners, we ask for God’s mercy. “The unforgivable sin, or the sin against the Holy Spirit, is not asking for God’s mercy,” he said.
Jesus told St. Faustina that trust is the vessel by which all grace is received. “Trust is simply accepting the help somebody offers you,” Father Alar said.
Mercy comes to the believer in three primary ways, Father Alar said. The first act of mercy was creation, attributed to God the Father. The second was redemption, attributed to Jesus, and the third great act of mercy is sanctification, attributed to the Holy Spirit.
Jesus had to die on the cross because of God’s own law, which said the penalty for sin is death. In the Old Testament, Israel sacrificed animals to atone for sin.
“It wasn’t a goat that committed sin,” Father Alar said. “The goat was offered up as a reparation for the sins of Jews; the term ‘scapegoat’ comes from that. A life had to be given and blood had to be shed, that’s how serious sin is.”
From Old Testament times and even to today, one can’t have worship without sacrifice, Father Alar said. “The sacrifice of the Mass is necessary because a sacrifice has to be made to atone for sin. Jesus accepted that and died on our behalf.”
That sacrifice of Jesus is made present at every Mass, he added. The reason most altars are elevated is because they represent Mount Calvary. When we are at Mass, we are at Calvary because in eternity there is no time. “God is outside of time.” To illustrate, Father Alar provided the example of the conception of Mary, who was saved from her sin through her Immaculate Conception nearly 50 years before Jesus died on the Cross. Also, at the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that the bread represented his body and the wine his blood, even though he had not yet been crucified.The Greek term “anamnesis” refers to Jesus’ words, “Do this in memory of me,” because at the Last Supper, Jesus is doing something that, on the altar, will always be present.
During the Mass, heaven and earth are united, Father Alar said, quoting Pope Benedict, who said that during the Mass “historical time and sacred time come together.”
Coming up the aisle to receive the Eucharist is a “wedding march,” he said. “The Mass is the wedding feast of the Lamb. Mother Church is the bride. Waiting for her at the altar is Christ, the bridegroom.”
During Eucharist, Jesus enters the bride, and the union between the bride (the Church) and the bridegroom (Christ) is consummated. “It’s union, it’s communion,” Father Alar said. “The entire Bible is about God seeking his wayward bride—Israel—to bring her back.”
In the Old Testament, every bride was to be spotless, before the groom could take her home to his mother and father. At Mass, during the penitential rite, venial sin is forgiven. If one does not have deadly or mortal sin, all venial sins are forgiven and the bride is spotless for the bridegroom. However, even after being forgiven our sins, there is still consequence—or temporal punishment—for sin.
“God did not say he would let you out of any consequence, even though you are forgiven,” Father Alar said. “Love includes discipline.”
A father may forgive his son for breaking a window with his baseball, but the son will still have to pay for the broken window. When a Catholic confesses, he or she is often given penance, which can include prayers, fasting and sacrifice.
Having said all that, Father Alar noted that even in the Old Testament, there were special times of grace when all sin and all punishment were forgiven. For example, once a year at Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, the High Priest would enter the Holy of Holies to make reparation for the sins of the nation.
In Jewish tradition, seven was regarded as the perfect number as it relates to time, while eight was the perfect number for infinity or eternity. Jesus told St. Faustina that on the eighth day after Christ’s victory over sin and death at the resurrection, the faithful could be absolved of all sin and all the punishment related to sin.
The eighth day after Easter is Divine Mercy Sunday. St. Faustina’s diary records this message from Jesus about Divine Mercy Sunday: “On that very day, the very depths of my tender Mercy are open, I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the Fount of My mercy.
The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sin and punishment.”
The eighth day also represents the day of our death after having lived our “seven days” of time and now we enter into the eighth day of eternity.
“On that day, your groom is coming for you to take you to his father and his mother, if he finds you spotless,” Father Alar stressed. That is accomplished by asking for God’s mercy and by receiving the Sacraments, particularly in Reconciliation and in the Sacrifice of the Mass.
“At Mass you are getting a foretaste of what is going to happen to you at the end of your life,” he said. “The bride is going to come to the groom, who wants to take you back to his Father and mother. Your whole purpose in life is to be created by him, to be redeemed by him and to be sanctified by him and then be returned to the Father.”
All this is accomplished, first, by the mercy of God. Jesus told St. Faustina that Divine Mercy is mankind’s last hope of salvation.
“If you don’t pass through the doors of mercy, you must pass through the doors of my justice,” the Lord told the Polish saint. Another Pole, St. John Paul II, said the world needs nothing more today than Divine Mercy.
Father Alar encouraged the men to remember ABC: “Ask” for God’s Mercy; “Be” merciful to each other; and “Completely” trust in the mercy of God.
The Divine Mercy image revealed to St. Faustina shows white and red rays coming from the heart of Jesus. When Jesus was crucified, a Roman soldier thrust a spear into Jesus’ side. The spear went through Jesus’ chest cavity and pierced his heart, causing blood to come from his heart. The white or pale rays represent water, which makes souls righteous. The red rays represent the blood, the life of the soul.
Justin Fatica is the founder of Your Amazing Fitness and Hard As Nails. He challenges men to “step up, live with purpose, take faith seriously and do unreasonable things for the Lord every day.”
Everyone needs encouragement, even if it seems unreasonable or is mocked by the world. Showing a picture of the crucifixion, he said, “That’s unreasonable encouragement.”
“We should bring unreasonable encouragement to every day of our life,” and not worry about how we look, talk or feel. The possibility of rejection should not be what moves us.
“The love of the Father should move us,” he said, showing two more photos of unreasonable encouragement: the Pieta sculpture and St. Teresa of Calcutta among the poorest of the poor.
Fatica attended an all-Catholic boys’ prep school in Erie, Pa., where he, and a few others, did their best to get teachers to quit as soon as possible.
One teacher, in particular, took an interest in Fatica and recognized that “I wasn’t good for what I did, I was good for who I am.”
“That priest did some unreasonable things,” including praying for Fatica every day even though the two battled daily in the classroom.
God prompted the priest to invite Fatica, then a junior in high school, on a retreat. The priest later told Fatica that he wrestled with God’s prompting, confessing that he couldn’t imagine spending 48 minutes with Fatica, let alone 48 hours.
But the priest did not hold back and invited Fatica to the retreat.
“I challenge each one of you today to stop holding back your love,” Fatica said in his staccato, pentecostal, preaching style. “We’re afraid of being rejected, but when we see Christ, we know who we are, and no one who rejects us can take away our encouragement, our love and our belief in all humanity,” he said. We believe in others “not because of what they believe but because of who they are, sons and daughters of the most high king, who had his son die for us.”
When the priest invited Fatica on the retreat, he said he was a “17-year-old boy who didn’t know he had a father who loved him.” His own father, though extremely wealthy, paid him little heed.
The retreat was life-changing. He went to confession, then prayed from his heart for the first time in Adoration. Worried about troubles in school and in relationships, “I opened my mouth for the first time in prayer. My first prayer was, ‘I’ll give you everything if you get me through this.” Looking at a crucifix, he prayed, “Jesus you died for me, I want to die for you.”
“Don’t pray that prayer unless you mean it, but I meant it like any 17-year-old kid could,” he said. Fatica started going to Daily Mass and, in his forceful way, bringing other teammates with him.
The priest who tried to tolerate Fatica in the classroom, sometimes without success, and who invited him to the retreat was Father Larry Richards, a well-known Catholic speaker and author.
“From that day he has been my spiritual father,” Fatica said of Father Richards. “He has been my constant encouragement,” Fatica said, noting that Father Richards texts him frequently now that Fatica’s dad is in the final stages of his life. “We can be men and still be tender-hearted,” Fatica said.
Men should pray each day, asking God, “Who are you calling me to believe in and inspire today, who are you calling me to love?”
Thousands of kids have approached Fatica during his ministry, some saying they were going to take their lives.
“Many of them never had a father,” Fatica said. “I tell them they’re going to be great husbands and fathers. I tell them I believe in them. They need people to believe in them like Christ believes in us.”
Men need to make time for the people in their lives, Fatical said. “Kids are on social media because we don’t make appointments with kids and grandkids.”
The best friend he had in life was a grandmother who made time for him, Fatica said. “We talked every two weeks for two hours. There wasn’t one time when I called that she didn’t pick up.”
She recently passed away, he said.
“Her legacy was one word: presence. Can we be that one person in someone’s life?”