For seniors, there may come a time when‘where’ one lives becomes an issue

Karen Schmidt with her husband Deacon Fred Schmidt. (Courtesy Photo/Mary Hersley-Kaineg)

In the most recent Senior Life column (Feb. 21), we met two delightful women: a mother who could no longer live alone and a daughter who loves having Mom live with her. Such a happy ending is not always possible, though. Some seniors may find their best (and sometimes only) option is to move into one of the many senior living residences that can be found in almost every city.

I am honored to spend time visiting seniors in living centers. Each place is as different as any home on the block. Some are gleaming with modern furnishings; others are appointed simply and plainly, and some are as homey as the house across the block.

Each person I visit has a different perspective about the place where life has taken them. One may be calm and compatible with his or her new digs. Another may find some facets of the current lifestyle not as comfortable, or, conversely, more pleasant than their “old” place.

There is one underlying sentiment, though: those I visit believe they are where God wants them to be at this stage of life. Since many are no longer driving, they cherish the times when their parish provides a Mass or communion service at their residence. They are grateful, too, for the individual minister of Holy Communion who brings the Eucharist to their facility.

Karen Schmidt moved to a Boise senior living center two and a half years ago with her husband, Deacon Fred Schmidt. Fred died in February of this year. With Fred gone, Karen moved to a smaller unit in the same center, but she is still very pleased with her new place.

“I love the people here,” Karen said. “They’re like family. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.”

At the time of Fred’s death, the Schmidts had been married 62 years.

It all began in 1961. Karen had just completed her first year of college and was home in Nezperce for the summer break. One of her friends had persuaded her to attend some of the dances in Cottonwood, Idaho, a town about 13 miles away from her hometown. Fred was there, too.

“He played the guitar,” Karen remembers, “but he didn’t have much to say. It was not ‘love at first sight,’” she said with a laugh. “I was not impressed because he was so quiet.” However, Fred persisted, and they married in Nezperce on June 10, 1962.

Fred had a job teaching at a school in Lewistown, Idaho. He was a dedicated teacher and coach, and Karen was a devoted Mom to their four children.

“She did not spare the discipline,” said son Keith. “Dad was gone a lot with his teaching and coaching job, and Mom was the one at home, keeping us out of mischief,” he added. “We kids grew up to be good people because of the way we were raised, and I’m glad our Mom was strict. She was a good Mom who had our backs.”

Keith spoke of a time when he had a new job cooking at Elmer’s restaurant. “There was a big event that everyone in the family wanted to attend. At first, my boss wouldn’t let me off work, but he eventually relented and said I could leave. Later, I found out my Mom had spoken to him and convinced him I needed to be there.”

Once the children were grown, Karen returned to school and completed her college courses, pursuing a degree in education.

“Fred and I both taught school in Lewiston until Fred’s retirement in 1995.

During that time, Fred enrolled in a diocesan-sponsored ministry formation program offered by Loyola University, New Orleans. The Loyola Institute for Ministry Extension (LIMEX) program offered graduate degree programs and continuing education certificates in various subjects, including catechesis for adults, youth ministry, music ministry, pastoral ministry and many others.

While participating in LIMEX, Fred discerned a call to the diaconate. This added some time to his years of study, but finally, Fred was ordained a deacon for the Diocese of Boise in 2001. He served many years at All Saints Church in Lewiston.

“It was a wonderful chapter in our life,” Karen recalled. “One of the highlights of Fred’s tenure as a deacon was assisting at the 2006 ordination of Father Ben Uhlenkott, in Greencreek, Idaho.”

Those familiar with the life of a deacon will know that their wives often serve the Church in various ministries. Karen is well-remembered for her time in Lewiston.

Regina Sulliven, a friend for many years, explained, “Karen is the rock of our friendship. She is positive and sensible. When I needed some strength, Karen was there.”

When Fred’s health began to fail, the Schmidts decided it was time to get a little closer to their children, some of whom live in Boise. They moved into senior housing from the outset of their life in Boise.

Karen’s friend Regina added, “We did everything together. We raised our kids together, attended Cursillo together, and belonged to the same Cursillo Fourth Day (group). Karen is still my strength. I was very sad when they left.”

Karen noted, “Fred didn’t want to move twice, so we found a place where we would want to live out our years.” She added, “Because of his health issues, Fred often talked about death. We were both preparing for it.”

Reflecting on her recent loss and her new life as a widow, Karen said, “I’m gifted with good health, I still drive, I am able to attend Mass at my parish, Risen Christ.”

She added, “I never dreamed I’d be here, but I love it. I miss my friend and companion of 62 years, but I am not lonely. I am at peace.”