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In the Trenches: Natural Family Planning

A message from Most Rev. Robert E. Barron, Chairman of the USCCB Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life & Youth, promoting Natural Family Planning Awareness Week.


By Kara Gotshall

For the ICR

 

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is promoted as being healthy for marriages and families, breathing new life and grace into the home. 

 

At the same time, couples know that NFP takes discipline to learn; it requires self-control and sometimes even results in a “surprise” baby! How could NFP help couples grow closer to God?

 

The answer: when couples track their fertility with NFP, they face the reality that God created their bodies’ fertility, and He wants them to cooperate with His plan to bring children into this world. It can be hard, challenging and even painful at times. Living in this truth, however, becomes a source of grace in their lives.

 

NFP creates an opportunity to encounter God in your marriage. With practice, you can learn how to draw closer to God and each other as you use NFP in the trenches of married life.

 

Is it time for another baby?

In section 10 of Pope Paul VI’s 1968 encyclical “Humanae Vitae” (Faith and Reason), titled “Responsible Parenthood,” the Church permits couples to use NFP to avoid pregnancy for serious or grave reasons, while reminding them:

 

“… they are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life, as if it were wholly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow. On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator.”   

 

If you are using NFP, you will need to regularly decide between abstinence and intimacy. There is a temptation to approach this conversation selfishly by asking, “do we want another baby?” Instead, you have an opportunity to view your family through God's eyes, asking, “Does God want us to have another baby?” NFP can provide you with a regular occasion to view your finances, health and the upbringing of your children through God’s eyes instead of just your own. Need a reminder? Try paperclipping a holy card of the Holy Family into your NFP chart.

 

Are we done yet?

Some couples may reach a point when they say, “We are done” having children. They may be at peace that their family has reached the size God intended due to health concerns, age or other reasons, and be confident in their discernment that God does not have any more children planned for them. 

 

As a Creighton NFP teacher, I have taught many couples approaching the menopause years who are avoiding pregnancy. Yet, when I ask them about their receptiveness to an unplanned pregnancy, they will often say, “we aren’t planning on it, but of course if it happens … it happens!”   

 

They continue to remember God is the Author of Life, often because they have spent years being open to His will for their family.

 

If you are in this situation, you can continue to keep your marriage fruitful by turning your days of abstinence into an offering of prayer. While God is not calling you to the unity that would result in another child, you can unite in prayer for a particular intention close to both of your hearts. 

 

“Surprise” pregnancies!

Unplanned pregnancies can happen for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the couple needed a more detailed or reliable charting method. Perhaps the couple was complacent or careless in their charting or perhaps the couple made an impulsive decision, using days of fertility even though they weren’t planning on a pregnancy.

 

These pregnancies may be unplanned, but in many cases, it doesn’t come as a surprise! Even if the pregnancy has no apparent explanation, if a couple already sees their fertility as a gift from God, it is easier for them to also see the new life as a gift from God.

 

If you have ever faced an unplanned pregnancy, you know how helpful it can be to reflect on your chart and discuss it as a couple. You may need to examine your charting habits, self-control or motives for avoiding a pregnancy. You might seek the opinion of your NFP teacher or switch to a different NFP method that suits you better. As a couple, it can become a time of growth as you come together on a plan moving forward in your marriage.

 

If your pregnancy proves a significant burden for your family, remember that God wants to accompany you in your trial. He gave you the gift of your fertility, and now He has given you the gift of a new life. Just as you have seen your marriage through His eyes while using NFP, you can learn to see this new challenge through His eyes as well. If you need it, you can reach out for support from your parish or a pregnancy center.

 

Do I have to chart?

Charting is not obligatory, provided you are still pursuing God’s will by respecting the procreative nature of the marital act and are prayerfully discerning your family size. If you need to avoid a pregnancy, you may instead choose long-term abstinence as a couple. If you know God is calling you to another child, you may choose to leave the timing of the next pregnancy entirely in His hands. Based on my experience as a Creighton practitioner, however, I have three reasons that I would still encourage you to consider charting with an NFP method:

 

First, when you choose not to chart your fertility, you are choosing to participate in God’s will passively. You do not have the same opportunities of knowing your bodies, discussing your fertility as a couple, and actively cooperating with God’s plan.

 

Second, charting is a valuable tool for monitoring health. It can help you accurately determine your due date, and it can help you have safer and healthier pregnancies by detecting health risks in advance of conception. When NaProTechnology Medical Consultants treat health concerns such as hormonal imbalances, PMS or infertility, they base their recommendations on an accurate Creighton Model chart. An accurate long-term chart can become an extremely valuable health record.

 

Lastly, it is practical to be confident when you are not in the early stages of pregnancy. Then you know if you can safely get dental X-rays, enjoy a glass of wine at dinner or go on a roller coaster ride with the kids this summer!

 

A choice in the trenches

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him, and he with Me.” (Rev 3:20)

 

When we are in the trenches of marriage, it can truly feel like a war sometimes! Remember that Jesus is always standing at the door and knocking, waiting for us to let Him in so He can help us fight our everyday battles. By charting your fertility with NFP, you can open that door as a couple, inviting Him into your home, your marriage and your family.

 

Charting your fertility becomes a constant reminder to see the blessings, the challenges and the purpose of your marriage through the eyes of God.


Parish & Diocese Resources provided by the USCCB


July 20 - 26, 2025


Pursue a lasting love ...

MARRIAGE

Create hope for the future!


Celebrate and reverence God's vision of human sexuality


Natural Family Planning Awareness Week is a national educational campaign. The Natural Family Planning Program of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops develops a poster each year with basic supportive materials. It is the individual dioceses, however, that offer a variety of educational formats in the local church to focus attention on Natural Family Planning methods and Church teachings that support their use in marriage.


The dates of Natural Family Planning Awareness Week highlight the anniversary of the papal encyclical Humanae Vitae (July 25) which articulates Catholic beliefs about human sexuality, conjugal love, and responsible parenthood. The dates also mark the feast of Saints Joachim and Anne (July 26), the parents of the Blessed Mother. Pope Francis has designated that feast as World Grandparents Day, a fitting commemoration during National NFP Awareness Week! For further information, contact nfp@usccb.org.





 
 
 

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