ICR columnist celebrates 90th birthday

By Philip A. Janquart

ICR Editor

BOISE—Mary Hersley-Kaineg is still going strong and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down.

At 90, she is an important part of every issue of the Idaho Catholic Register, chronicling the lives and experiences of senior parishioners in her biweekly column. Her job is essential in the ICR’s effort to highlight people who have done so much with their lives and who make up a large part of Idaho’s Catholic community.

Mary Hersley-Kaineg's high school photo.

Mary, however, has a story of her own, one that few writers could make up.

She came into the world in 1936, and life was challenging from the very start. She did not know her parents and was never quite certain where they came from or where she was born.

"The story is that my mother died at my birth, and my father put me in an orphanage in Albuquerque, New Mexico," she said. "I do not have a birth certificate. I had a DNA test, and it kind of narrowed down where I came from, somewhere in the New Mexico, Kansas and Texas area.”

She was able to locate a distant cousin, but they didn’t know about her parents.

“All I have is my baptism certificate; I was baptized at the orphanage,” Mary said.

It turns out, her father left instructions that Mary could not be adopted without his permission, and reserved the right to know who the adopting parents were.

“He requested that I be adopted by a Catholic family even though he, himself, was not Catholic, but my mother was.”

Mary said she doesn’t know if any of that is true, adding that “they (orphanages) don’t always give the straight story.”

“So, my father approved my adoption by the sister and her husband of the archbishop of New Mexico; he was in charge of the orphanage. I left the orphanage at the age of 3.”

Her adoptive parents moved to Texas, where Mary attended Umbarger Grade School, a public school in Umbarger, Texas, in the state’s panhandle.

“The state of Texas allowed the community to hire nuns to teach at public schools as long as they were registered under their family name and not their religious name," she recalled. “So, technically, I went to parochial school. I went to public schools all my life, but I was taught by nuns.”

  A recent photo of Mary Hersley-Kaineg. (Courtesy photo)

Faith is strength

She later attended West Texas State College, now West Texas A&M University, and Our Lady of the Lake College in San Antonio, but did not graduate.

Mary eventually met Darrell Hersley, and the two were married in 1960 at St. Mary's Church in Umbarger, Texas.

The couple moved to Colorado after Darrell graduated from forestry school.

The couple eventually settled in Idaho Falls after Darrell accepted work with the Idaho Department of Lands. Together they raised five children.

Tragedy strikes

In 1984, after 24 years of marriage, Darrell was killed in a construction accident while digging a trench to connect their home to the city sewer system.

"The ditch fell in on top of him and suffocated him," Mary said. “Their oldest children were just beginning college. The youngest was only 10 years old.”

The loss forced dramatic changes, the family selling their small farm and livestock, and Mary began rebuilding her life while raising her children.

"It was really quite hard for everybody," she said.

  Mary and Darrell Hersley were married in 1960 at St. Mary’s

Church in Umbarger, Texas. (Courtesy photo)

Her path eventually led her to Idaho Falls, where she completed the Loyola Institute for Ministry Extension (LIMEX) program, earning certification in liturgy and music. The training opened the door to a new vocation in Church ministry.

Earning her certification led to another move. Mary accepted a position as director of liturgy and music at St. Joseph Church in Roseburg, Oregon, where she served for two decades.

New challenges

While living in Oregon, she met a man who was active in the church. In 2004, the two were married. Eight years later, however, her second husband was arrested and later imprisoned for seven years after being charged with abuse of a child.

Despite the painful circumstances, Mary remained faithful to her marriage vows and continued supporting him throughout his incarceration.

He died of a heart attack two weeks after being released in 2019. By then, her children had begun urging her to move closer to them in Idaho.

"I was driving from Roseburg to Boise for visits at least once a month," she said. "It's a 10-hour drive. So, my kids told me I should move here."

She sold the seven-acre property she had maintained in Oregon and relocated to Boise in 2016, officially retiring from full-time ministry.

For Mary, however, retirement did not translate into inactivity.

Today, she serves as organist for the 8:30 a.m. Sunday Mass at St. Mark's Catholic Community. She paints watercolors, creates greeting cards, brings Communion to homebound parishioners and tends animals in her backyard.

"I still have rabbits and chickens and ducks," Mary said with a laugh.

Mary Hersley-Kaineg with her five kids and husband, Darrell

Hersley, in their last family photo. Back row: Kurt, Hal and

Chad. Front Mary, Audrey, Anne and Darrell. (Courtesy photo)

Life moves on

At nearly 90 years old, she also continues another ministry—telling the stories of others.

A lifelong writer whose work has appeared in national Catholic publications, Mary became convinced that one group of Catholics was largely overlooked in diocesan newspapers.

"We read about priests, we read about nuns, we read about deacons, we read about schools and school teachers, but we never read about the ordinary Catholic senior," she said. "They're the people that are holding the Church up."

The idea lingered until one Sunday she felt what she describes as a spiritual cue.

"I got this nudge, kind of like, 'Okay, Mary, when are you going to get on it?'" she recalled.

She came home, wrote a proposal to then-editor Scott Pearhill and sent it.

Moments later, she experienced chest pains and spent three days in the hospital after suffering a heart attack.

"I said, 'Whoops, that's not the Holy Spirit. That's a little stronger than the Spirit,'" she joked.

The episode did not deter her.

Nearly two years later, Mary continues producing her popular senior profiles, introducing readers to the faithful Catholics whose quiet service often goes unnoticed.

What she enjoys most is meeting people and uncovering the stories hidden behind familiar faces in the pews.

"You find all this other really great stuff that made them who they are," she said.

Now approaching her 90th birthday in August, Mary remains focused on service rather than slowing down.

A simple philosophy

"My motto in life is to do as much as I can for as long as I can," she said.

And after a lifetime of mystery, hardship and grace, Mary continues telling people’s stories and reminding others that it matters.

Mary poses for a photo in her First Holy Communion dress

holding her prayer book. (Courtesy photo)